06 December 2013 Guest Contributor

If you’re new to blogging and believe it to be a purely innocent indulgence, think again. The blogosphere is a powerful universe, which can quickly entangle you in its intricate lace. 

Lust, secrets, late night liaisons and dependency – if you’re not careful, blogging can take over your life and transform you from a conservative school mum of three to a liberal provocateur in need of Dr. Phil.

If you’re a blogger who spends your days fantasising about your next blog post or feeling guilty about what you typed last night, here are ten signs that your blog has progressively turned into your sordid love affair.

1. It started with lust

You’d heard of its thrills but weren’t sure it was for you, so in the beginning you lurked around to learn how it was done. After a while, you realised the escapades of others no longer satisfied your needs. You more you saw, the more you wanted to try it for yourself. You had to start and you had to start soon. 

2. You were afraid you’d get caught

It excited you and scared you at the same time. You signed up, but with an alias. You snuck around in the shadows; afraid someone you knew would expose your mischief and lecture you on prudent behaviour. It was crucial that no one knew of your risqué activity.

3. A one-night stand wasn’t enough

You weren’t initially looking for commitment, but your first foray gave you such an adrenaline rush that you found yourself going back for more. Each outing became more daring than the last. Before you knew it, you were hooked.

4. You now enjoy multiple partners

Monogamy has become ancient history. You constantly check in for as many likes, shares and love notes as possible. Strangers welcome. The more the merrier. No holds barred. You finally understand Austin Powers.

5. You have become distant

Pre-affair, you were extroverted and socially engaging. But these days, your mind is forever elsewhere. You nod along in real-life conversations while simultaneously plotting the words for your next tryst. 

6. You suffer withdrawal 

You know you should stop because it sucks so much of your energy. But the withdrawal pains are debilitating and there is something hypnotic about it that constantly solicits you back.

7. You keep making excuses

To get your fix, you make excuses to sneak away from everyday life. You feel guilty but you never need your Hail Mary’s because those emotions quickly subside once you’re consumed in the passion of your rendezvous.

8. You take more risks

When you can’t sneak away, you risk exposure by participating anyway. Your loved ones often sit beside you with no idea of the extent of your folly. You love the danger. You love the treachery. 

9. You invest in a face-lift 

You’ve taken a new pride in your appearance and invested in a new look with sexier accessories. Your craving for visitors has become insatiable and you flaunt ‘the new you’ in every forum you can find.

10. You don’t know how to stop 

Your infidelity makes you feel loved, appreciated and invincible. You’ve rediscovered your mojo and you like what you see. You don’t know how to stop and in truth you really don’t want to.

So, there you have it: ten signs your blog has turned into your sordid love affair. If you had your time again, would you still have said, “I do” to your blog “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, ‘til death to us part”? Irony intentional.

Andrea Martins is the founder of Story Resumes: visually awesome resumes that tell your story and get you noticed. Prior to that, she co-founded Expat Women and managed its directory of 2,300+ blogs.